Experienced carers unpack the ins and outs of respite care

Thinking about becoming a foster carer and curious about respite care? We spoke with experienced carers from across Australia, who answered some frequently asked questions about respite care, sharing their stories and tips to give you a real sense of what short break care is like and what it can mean for children and their foster families.

What is respite care?

"Respite care is where a carer comes on board and provides support for other primary carers within Life Without Barriers," said Katie, Carer Ambassador and foster carer.

"So that might look like providing care for one weekend a month or, in some situations, it might be alternate weekends depending on the needs of that primary caring family. It also looks like providing care for a child, during the holidays. So maybe for a week or a couple of weeks in the holidays."

As a respite foster carer, you will provide a caring and supportive role, not only to children in need, but also to their full-time foster family.

Why do children need respite care?

Respite foster carers support children and teenagers by providing a respectful, supportive relationship, outside of the child’s primary carer, in the same way extended family, such as aunts, grandparents and family friends do.

Respite carers also provide invaluable support to a child’s primary carers, who may benefit from a short break. Even one weekend a month can make a lasting impact.

"Caring is quite a tough gig to do full time. So, it's good for carers to have a break, so that they can rejuvenate themselves," said Trevor, long term and respite foster carer.

Is respite care planned?

Many people wonder whether respite care happens at short notice or is planned ahead of time. Usually, it is planned and scheduled well in advance, but short break care is sometimes required at short notice.

"It can be planned weeks in advance. I haven't actually had a time where I've had less than three or four days notice," said Jo, long term and respite foster carer.

How do you create a welcoming environment for children and young people?

While stays may be short, our carers focus on helping children and young people feel safe, included and at ease from the very beginning. This often means learning about a child’s preferences and routines, and taking the time to build trust through small, thoughtful gestures that show they are valued and respected.

"What I tend to do is have the child come over to introduce themselves to my child, and also to see our house so that they feel comfortable in the space," shared Jo.

"Then I get my daughter to show them where their space is going to be in the spare room. And we see how it's going to be set up and their choice of whatever stuffed toys they'd like."

"And then I'll speak to their parents and ask them what their favourites are. I share what we usually have for cereal and ask what their favourite foods are and what are their likes and dislikes are."

Jacintha, Carer Ambassador, takes a similar approach, making sure she understands each child’s needs before they arrive.

"Have a rough idea what their likes dislikes are as far as food, chat to the other carer about what might trigger the child, the dos and don’ts, just to keep that child feeling comfortable."

Trevor explains that first impressions matter, and he pays careful attention to his own interactions to help children feel safe and welcome.

"It's important as well for them to see we're a friendly face."

"Because I'm quite tall and getting on a bit, I can look quite intimidating. So, I tend to try to get down to the child's level so that I don't loom so large for them."

How do you prepare your home to welcome a young person?

For Trevor, preparing their home for a young person is about creating a welcoming, comforting space where they can feel safe and relaxed, even if it’s just for a short stay.

"We've got a range of toys. We make sure the bedrooms have night lights if the children want it. They've got the speaker in there if they want to listen to music or lullabies or something to help them, just to soothe them as well."

Jacintha shares those small touches, whether practical or personal, can also make a big difference in helping children feel at ease in a new environment.

"One thing that I thought was handy was what another more experienced carer actually did for me when our kids were going to respite. They asked for a photograph of me with the children to put on their bedside for while they were at her place. And I thought that was a lovely touch and something I hadn't thought of."

What activities should you plan with a child or teenager?

For our carers, the goal isn’t to fill every moment with activities, it’s to offer options that help children feel at ease and enjoy their stay.

Jo explains that sharing plans and giving children options helps reduce anxiety and sets expectations from the start.

"The one thing my daughter can't deal with is crisis and I don't want to do that to any other children. So, I give them as much information as possible."

"My daughter and I will plan what we think might be fun, and then we'll ask them if they'd like to do that. We tell them that things could change, but these are the things we're planning on doing."

Carers often focus on simple, flexible activities that can help children settle in and feel comfortable.

"We have a policy, that the first night that a child stays with us, it's their choice for what we have for dinner that night. So, if it's takeaways or Macca's or something like that, then you know, that just helps to settle them in," said Trevor.

Jacintha points out that sometimes the most important part of a short stay isn’t the activities themselves, but simply offering a calm, welcoming space where children can relax.

"I've learned over years is that it might just need to be a really soft-landing spot. A place to just chill out for the weekend."

"Don't expect to have to do too much, if they like pizza, it's pizza night. Pyjamas on and a movie. If they want, we play games, cards and board games, something like that. At the very least, maybe a walk to the park on the Saturday if it's the weekend."

What advice would you give to someone considering becoming a respite carer?

For those considering fostering, respite care can be a great first step, offering insight into what it’s like to care for a child short term while making a real difference in their life.

"I think respite care is a really good place for somebody to start their caring journey. It really gives you a good feel of what it looks like having a child in your home," said Katie.

Trevor agrees, highlighting that even respite foster care can be deeply rewarding and provides essential support to both children and their full-time carers

"I’ll always advocate for everyone becoming a foster carer."

"It's very rewarding. You do get attached to the children and you're helping out in a tough situation."

"Some people couldn't take having a child for a long time and then maybe having to let them go and I say, 'well, try respite'. You’re giving the carers that are out there a break and a rest so that they can recharge and be able to continue on."

Becoming a foster carer is a rewarding experience that can make a significant difference in a child's life. If you're considering foster care, you can contact us by phone at 1300 592 227 or email at carers@lwb.org.au. You can also fill out an enquiry form, and we will contact you.