Their foster care journey came with its surprises, but Andi and Gareth wouldn't change it for the world.
Image: Andi and Gareth stand together in their backyard, smiling at the camera.
Andi and Gareth didn't think they had the capacity and capability to support a child with disability. But when baby Kay* entered their lives, she immediately gained a place in their hearts. She blew away all their preconceptions and enriched their lives in a way they never imagined.
The couple from South Australia considered foster care a long time before they got in touch with their local Life Without Barriers' foster care team. Andi experienced trauma as a child, and she described her lightbulb moment that shaped her path forward.
"I was very lucky my dad could step in and take me when my other parent was not capable of caring for me," said Andi.
"One day, it occurred to me, 'What would have happened to me if I didn't have that parent who could take care of me in a way that I needed?' And I am very lucky to have a husband who understood wanting to give back."
When they were told they were unlikely to have biological children, they started to have more serious conversations about becoming carers.
"Then we did fall pregnant. We had a little person, who's now ten," said Andi.
"From the age of two, she kept asking, 'Mommy, can I have a sister or brother?' and we said, 'We're lucky to have you'."
And their daughter's persistence paid off. Gareth and Andi asked each other, "Why couldn't we foster to give her a sibling and give a child a safe space to land?"
"We spoke to Life Without Barriers, and we haven't looked back. They have been incredible from the beginning," said Andi.
The foster care intake team helped ensure Andi and Gareth's home met all the requirements to be ready for welcoming a child. Having already raised their daughter, they only had to do minor adjustments. Next was training.
"Life Without Barriers do a very good job at giving you information and real-world examples of situations that you may come across," said Gareth.
"Everyone's experience is unique, but the training gives you such a solid base. You just can't fault it," said Gareth.
Image: Andi and Gareth sit together on a couch, smiling at the camera.
Andi believes that all foster parents have a responsibility to become trauma informed.
"You need to become a therapeutic parent, which all these little people need. Because they've been removed, and there's trauma related to that."
Doing the training sealed Gareth's decision to be a foster carer.
"It showed that there were so many children that need care and support from loving people who are willing to give their time."
"And I just couldn't think of anything better to do than that."
The couple said their Life Without Barrier assessment team gave them a lot of support.
"This beautiful person, Becky, came in and assisted us. She knows us better than I do!" said Andi, speaking of Carer Accessor Rebecca Hayes.
Andi advised potential foster and kinship carers to lean into the help of the assessment teams.
"They will be a great resource to you because they will give you so much information about what to expect going forward."
Andi and Gareth were approved as foster carers and hoped to provide long-term care for a child between 2 to 5 years. Not long after, they received a call asking them if they would take in a new-born. They said yes without hesitation.
A short time after they welcomed three-day old Kay into their home, she started showing signs of stimming and had some medical conditions. Doctors diagnosed her and warned that she would have many limitations, including very limited mobility, neurological difficulties, and limited ability to communicate.
"We are big supporters of early intervention. So, we worked very hard and collaborated with the right people to make that happen," they said.
These collaborators include their team from Life Without Barriers.
"We had really good people from Life Without Barriers who give us a wealth of knowledge, skills and support," they said.
They credit to Jemma Burford's, Child Family Practitioner, influence on how well Kay's has settled in.
"Jemma is an absolute force of nature and we are very blessed to have her. She goes in to bat for us. She makes sure we know the supports and tools we have around us - like funding, best practices, and preferred providers. And she's always there with helping hand, including supporting our other child as a foster sibling," Andi said.
Psychologist Jez helped them respond to Kay's behaviours and challenges. She taught them to communicate with Kay, which has allowed Kay to interact with them in a positive way.
"She's not having those challenging behaviours as much because she's now expresses in a very clear way what she wants," Andi shared.
Kay, who is now two-years-old, keeps going above and beyond what the specialists predicted. She was not expected to even sit up by herself, yet she progressed from sitting up with a straight and strong back, to crawling, standing and is now learning to walk.
"Every diagnosis or stipulation that she's not going to do this or that, she's just defied the odds," said Andi.
Andi admitted that she had feared caring for a child with disability.
"Then we got Kay and she's just herself, she's not her disabilities. If anything, she's given me the confidence and the tools to parent her."
Image: Andi and Kay with the backs to the camera, sitting on the floor and playing with toys together.
Andi shared her advice to anybody considering fostering a child with complex needs or even considering foster or kinship care.
"Don't make a decision from fear to not have one of these wonderful kids in your life. You will learn and know your person, and you will become the expert in them. And that is something that will develop over time."
"You don't need to come in with any particular skill or knowledge. All you need around you is a good support team, a great agency like Life without Barriers, and the willingness to love a little person with an open mind and an open heart."
As they reflected on the past two years, Andi said, "It's been an incredible journey. She is such a bright little beautiful child, and regardless of the challenges she faces, I cannot look back and regret a single day."
"She has brought so much to our family and taught us so much about ourselves, about loving, and about caring for a child that has different needs."
"It's been a huge privilege and honour to be able to support her in this role as a carer," said Gareth.
"Being a foster carer is one of the best, best things I've ever done in my life."
A person's story is precious. We take storytelling seriously. Sometimes people are able to tell their own story, and we love that. We always make sure they give us their ok, and we will always honour the trust placed in us to bring their story forward. *Names have been changed to protect the children in this story.
