"Not for me, but for her." Matilda tells us how she rebuilt her life and reunified with her daughter, supported by the right people.
Trigger warning: Matilda's story talks about mental health, drug use, and domestic violence. Sometimes words or images can cause sadness or distress, or trigger traumatic memories for people, particularly survivors of past abuse, violence or childhood trauma. For some people, these responses can be overwhelming. If you need to talk to someone, support is available.
You can call Lifeline on 13 11 14 anytime for confidential telephone crisis support.
When Matilda first engaged with Life Without Barriers' Alcohol and Drugs program in January 2025, she was determined to regain custody of her daughter Jade* and be a good mother to her. She attended fortnightly counselling appointments with a goal of maintaining abstinence.
"When I look back at where I started, it’s hard to believe how far I’ve come. At the beginning, I was scared, anxious, overwhelmed… and excited. I had a baby growing inside me, and I didn’t know what life was going to look like," said Matilda.
"I was in a tough relationship, dealing with domestic violence, and trying to figure out how to be a mum. I remember going on night walks with my dog Nahla just to feel safe and brave. I’d ring my mum who would organise for a friend to come and get me. That was my way of coping."
Matilda's turning point was when she found out she was pregnant with Jade.
"Everything changed. I was scared but knew I had to step up. I knew I had to make changes. I stopped using cannabis because I wanted to be clear-headed and present for her," she said.
"It wasn’t easy, especially losing friends and dealing with stress, but I started focusing on what really matters. Having a routine, talking to my mum, and just keeping busy helped heaps. I feel stronger now, more in control, and proud of how far I’ve come."
Though Matilda stopped, her ex continued smoking cannabis. Then, the Department for Child Protection got involved when Jade was just four weeks old.
"That was a wake-up call. I had to choose a different path, not just for me, but for her."
Matilda began the journey on her own, leaving her partner and removing herself from the environment she was in.
With support from Craig, her Life Without Barriers Alcohol and Other Drugs Counsellor, Matilda worked on underlying issues and relapse prevention strategies to stay substance-free. She started to understand her triggers and how to manage them.
"I’ve worked hard to put a relapse prevention plan in place that helps me stay on track," said Matilda.
"I know my triggers now, things like boredom, stress, or even the smell of weed. When those moments come up, I go for a walk with music, clean my space, or call my mum for a chat. Keeping a routine helps heaps too."
"I’ve learned that staying busy and surrounding myself with the right people makes a big difference. I’m doing this for Jade and for myself."
Image: Matilda sits with her daughter on her lap on the floor at the library, surrounded by toys.
Matilda continued to build a life she is proud of.
"I’ve finished my hours for my L’s and now I’ve got my P’s and a working car! That’s a huge step for me. It means independence, freedom, and being able to get to appointments and see Jade more easily," said Matilda.
After demonstrating she can provide her daughter a safe, stable home, Matilda was recently reunified with Jade.
"Reunification with Jade has been one of the most meaningful parts of my journey. Picking her up from the carer’s house was emotional. I felt proud and grateful. The carer was amazing and helped keep Jade’s routine stable."
"Now, I get to be there for her every day. I’ve learned how to feed her, change nappies, play, and respond to her needs. It’s helped us build a strong bond," she said.
Matilda understands that being a good parent involves providing for Jade's emotional needs.
"I know how important it is to be emotionally present and consistent, and I’m doing everything I can to make sure she feels safe and loved."
Matilda finds having a routine has helped a lot.
"I wake up around 8am, have breakfast, shower, do my makeup, and tidy my room. It might sound simple, but it keeps me grounded. I don’t get cravings like I used to, and I’ve distanced myself from people and places that made it harder to stay clean."
One of the biggest changes in Matilda's new life has been her relationship with her mum.
"We talk more now, cook dinner together, and there’s real trust between us," said Matilda. "She’s a strong woman and has been through her own journey. Seeing her proud of me means everything."
At a better place in life, Matilda has started thinking about the future she wants and what is possible.
"I’ve even thought about doing an apprenticeship as a diesel mechanic. I love working with my hands and solving problems, it just makes sense."
"I’m not the same person I was a year ago," said Matilda.
"I’m stronger, more focused, and I’m building a future for me and Jade, one step at a time."
Matilda shared her advice for someone going through what she has.
"Be prepared with everything you need so you don’t struggle. Surround yourself with people that can support you. That’s what’s helped me the most."
Life Without Barriers’ Drug and Alcohol Counselling service provides one-on-one individualised counselling and group sessions for people who live in South Australia and have identifiable alcohol and/or other drugs dependency and/or concerned parents or significant others.
Access to services is available through self-referral or referral from a GP, Health Services, Mental Health Services, Police, Alcohol and Drug Information Service, Disability Service or other Community Organisations.
A person's story is precious. We take storytelling seriously. Sometimes people are able to tell their own story, and we love that. We always make sure they give us their ok, and we will always honour the trust placed in us to bring their story forward.
*Names have been changed to protect the children in this story.
