carers age
31-50
relationship
Couple with kids
age of children
0-6
type of care
Long-term, Respite, Restoration
needs of children
General
carers age
31-50
relationship
Couple with kids
age of children
0-6
type of care
Long-term, Respite, Restoration
needs of children
General

Meet Fiona and Michael

Melbourne-based foster parents Fiona and Michael are full of energy. They have been foster carers for three decades, and have cared for many children since then. They currently care for a young boy who completes their household with their own son.

We sat down with the carers to answer some of our most common foster care questions.

What first drew you to foster care?

"We both grew up in very fortunate families. When you come from such a good home, it's nice to think you can provide that experience for someone who may not get it otherwise," Fiona said.

How do you prepare to be a foster parent?

"You have to prepare for the bad times, as well as the good," Fiona, who also works full-time as a nurse, explained.

"There have been moments where kids have had behavioural issues and lashed out. That is challenging, but a lot of the time, the kids don't know any different or are not able to regulate their own emotions."

"People ask, 'what do you do?' when a foster child lashes out." Fiona continued. "If you remember you're not responsible for their behaviour and it's not directed at you, it's much easier to support them."

Image: Mature foster carer couple sitting in their lounge room smiling

What have been some highlights in your foster care journey?

Fiona said it's all about the small wins.

"For a teenager to put their plate on the sink for the first time or thank you or help you with a chore – that is a win."

"When Alex* first came to us, he didn't like physical contact - which is absolutely fine. But after a few weeks here, he climbed down from the couch, went around to my son, cuddled him and gave him a kiss. That was so beautiful!"

"For one young person, we used to get a phone call from the school principal every week – the week that we didn't, we celebrated!" she laughed.

What does your son think of having foster siblings?

"It's taught him understanding and compassion and made him a very caring soul. For him, being our only biological child – the placements have given him a bigger family," Fiona said.

"When our son was four, we had a sibling group - a four-year-old boy and his older sister. The four-year-old was distressed at being brought to a stranger's house, and I remember him [my son] going over and sitting next to the little boy on the couch." Shared Michael.

"My son said, ‘it's ok, I'll look after you, I'm a foster carer.'"

How did you prepare your home for fostering?

When children of any age first come to their home, Fiona and Michael set up a room with them, with anything they need as well as an age-appropriate gift – that may be a voucher for a teenager or a colouring-in book and pencils for a toddler.

Fiona explained that in those first few days when a child enters their house, the key is to respect their space and not to overwhelm them.

"There are boundaries and guidelines in our house, but the first three-four days, we don't set any of those. We let them watch how we behave, and we lead by example. We make them feel included. Whenever we do something, we offer them to join in. We give them the space to be able to walk away – we don't want to be in their face."

Michael and Fiona have been fortunate to keep in touch with some of the teenagers they've cared for, many of whom have been reunified with their birth families. Some of the teens we have cared for have come back and said, ‘you guys have done so much for me.' That's really lovely!"

*Names have been changed to protect the children in care.

Got more questions?

Our friendly and helpful fostering specialists are ready to answer your questions. Whether you're looking to start the process, get some answers or want more information, our team is waiting for you to connect.