Sex and Sexuality

A significant number of children and young people leaving care report that they are not given enough help to learn about sex and sexual health. Evidence highlights that there is a higher number of teenage pregnancies in young people who were in care than other young people.

Why is it important to talk about sex?

Just as children and young people need help to understand the importance of friendships, how to relate to people and how to cope with life in general, they need a good sexual education. Without accurate information young people in care are at risk of unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. If children do not feel they can talk about the topic of sex with an adult they trust, they may also be at increased risk of being sexually abused.

Should you discuss sex with children in your care?

Age appropriate discussions about sex are best done in an easy and comfortable way, so that these conversations are experienced as a normal part of life. The general advice for parents and carers of children and young people is to answer questions about sex as they arise, and if you don’t know the answer offer to find out.

Talking about sex with older children may be more challenging. The age of the child in your care will make a difference to how you need to approach the topic. If the child in your care has a background of sexual abuse, discussions about sex need to be sensitive and informed.

If a child or young person has not been in your care for very long, then you may not know what their attitudes towards sex are, their sexual orientation, what sexual experience they have had or even if they are sexually active. For these reasons it is essential that you discuss how this topic is to be managed with your care team first. This will assist you to consider the background of the child or young person and how best to deal with this topic.

Having conversations

It is not necessary to quiz or interrogate a young person in your care on their views about sex or their sexual experiences. What’s important is that they know it is okay for them to talk about sex, to ask you questions and discuss anything that is worrying them.

If they receive the message from you, either directly or indirectly, that sex is a “no go” topic, or is something dirty or shameful, they will not feel comfortable in approaching you. This puts them at a much greater risk of engaging in sexual acts that could lead to abuse, exploitation, unwanted pregnancy, or of contracting a sexually transmitted disease.