Sarah, long-term foster carer, adapts to Bec's needs with support from the Life Without Barriers foster care team.
Image: A woman with dark hair embraces a young girl who has her face turned away from the camera.
Sarah never intended to foster a child long-term, until life presented her an opportunity too important to walk away from.
Growing up, Sarah watched her grandmother foster teenagers and saw her uncle, who was adopted by her grandparents after being in care, become part of the family.
"That’s what inspired me initially," said Sarah.
Years later, as a single parent raising her son Milo, Sarah found herself working for a care organisation and sharing an office with residential care coordinators. Listening to her colleagues gave her an insight into out-of-home care and made her realise she had the space, and the heart, to offer a home to a young person in need.
"I had an extra bedroom, and I always wanted to be a foster carer, but I wasn't sure as a single parent that I could afford it," she said.
Then Sarah saw an advertisement for therapeutic reunification carers. Working with children and birth families and helping develop those family connections strongly appealed to her.
"My idea of foster care was to have children for a few months and help reunify them," she explained.
Milo was in his last year of primary school at the time and Sarah spoke with him about becoming a carer.
"He was all for giving other children the chance to have a safe place."
"At every step of the way, I always asked Milo, 'What do you think? Shall we take another child? Or have you had enough?' And he would always say, 'We should keep helping.'"
Sarah’s first placements were short-term, and she found a lot of joy in helping children reconnect with their families.
Then came Bec*. The agency told Sarah that Bec had significant physical and neurological disabilities; she could not sit up and might never walk. Having family support and being familiar with cerebral palsy, Sarah decided to welcome Bec into her home.
When the opportunity to foster Bec long-term came up, Sarah hesitated. She entered foster caring to help reunify children with their birth families.
"But I had this little baby who both Milo and I had formed a strong bond with. So she stayed,” said Sarah.
Sarah had a good experience with her agency, but when Bec was two, it became apparent to Sarah that they needed a provider that supported long-term care and could provide stronger disability support.
She transitioned to Life Without Barriers to meet the changing needs of Bec.
"The process took a few months, but Life Without Barriers kept me informed. They were supportive and easy to work with."
Since joining Life Without Barriers, Sarah has found the support she needed. She praised the clinical services, especially during a challenging period when Bec was at a tricky developmental stage and struggling with family contact and emotional regulation.
Jezreel Besterwich, Clinical psychologist, worked alongside Sarah for six months to support her in her therapeutic caring practice.
"It made a huge difference. She helped me feel confident in my skills and validated my approach. It has helped me advocate for what is in Bec’s best interest," said Sarah.
Read about foster care for complex needs and therapeutic caring practices here>.
Sarah left her full-time job to be there for Bec, who needed her 24/7. Sarah advocated to get more support for Bec, with assistance from her Child and Family Practitioner, Isabelle Berryman. Following an assessment, Bec was diagnosed and now has appropriate supports for her care.
"Isabelle came with me to Bec’s neurological assessment. Just having her there made me feel like I was not alone fighting for my child."
Image: A child sits in a chair at a hairdressing salon, about to get a hair cut.
Bec’s emotional world is intense.
"Her feelings are huge and loud," Sarah explains.
"It’s very different from what I’m used to, but I’ve learned to understand it."
Bec’s emotions can be challenging, and Sarah has leaned on Life Without Barriers’ after-hours support during those moments.
"I call them when I need another understanding adult. And as soon as I hear their calm voice, it brings me back down. And because I am on the phone, Bec then comes to me and wants my attention. It’s a circuit breaker."
Sarah found Life Without Barriers’ Therapeutic Crisis Intervention for Families (TCIF) training valuable.
"It changed how I parent," said Sarah, who is now able to take a breath and have a different perspective when faced with testing situations.
"I had already done so many online trainings myself, but to do this in person for four days straight was really what helped. I met these beautiful people, had the best time and learnt so much about myself."
"We practised it and acted it out, and that was the difference. Role-playing with other carers helped me understand behaviours and respond with curiosity and playfulness."
At the training, Sarah learnt about the MOCKINGBIRD FAMILY™ model, a supportive network of foster families.
"I was hesitant at first, but meeting the hub provider felt like fate. The meetups are beautiful, no judgement, just understanding."
At one MOCKINGBIRD FAMILY™ meeting, Sarah met a carer who later opened up about being at crisis point.
"I could offer support by sharing how I've been there with Bec and other children in my care. We had a deep conversation and I'm looking forward to getting to know them better," said Sarah.
Sarah has always valued children’s connections to their birth families. It was important for her to develop a good relationship with Bec’s family.
"Having family involvement is how Bec will learn about herself and her own values and her boundaries," she said.
"When Bec was one, she struggled with family contact, but I knew that ongoing contact with her family was important, and I wanted to do what I could to make contact successful."
"I advocated to sit in those meetings, if Mum and Dad were OK with it, so I could help them build that trust in connection," said Sarah.
"Through that, I was able to build a positive relationship with her family. And that allowed her to relax."
Now five years old, Bec is thriving. Despite early predictions that she might never walk or sit up, Bec has defied expectations. She developed an interest in soccer last year, and her birth family are huge soccer players who are very involved with their soccer club.
"She started soccer this year, and she's loving it. And the family come and watch because they're soccer people," said Sarah.
Image: A child wearing a soccer uniform sits on a bench at a soccer game, facing away from the camera.
While it was not her original intention to be a long-term carer, Sarah has fully embraced being Bec’s permanent carer. Backed by the support from her Life Without Barriers team, Sarah has created a strong, safe and loving home for Bec, Milo, and herself.
Are you a carer looking to switch to Life Without Barriers from another agency? Find out how below!
A person's story is precious. We take storytelling seriously. Sometimes people are able to tell their own story, and we love that. We always make sure they give us their ok, and we will always honour the trust placed in us to bring their story forward. *Names have been changed to protect the children in this story.
